Others cannot refresh my server

If your IP is visible on the server list but others cannot refresh it then you need to configure your firewall and/or router.

Please see article on Port Forwarding.

Others cannot see my IP address on the server list at all

If you want your server to be visible to general public (instead of only just your friends who know your IP), make sure that you enabled broadcasting to master server. Use this command in the server window:

 sv_updatemaster 1

How do I know if others can refresh my server

This trick works if there are people who refresh the server list at a given time and when you allowed broadcasts to master server. There usually are people at all times of the day.

Run this command in your server window:

 sv_showlauncherqueries 1

If your server is visible you will start getting output in the log window similar to the following:

 [22:58:05] Launcher challenge from: 201.100.100.200:12999
 [22:58:07] Launcher challenge from: 87.67.55.144:12999
 [22:58:10] Launcher challenge from: 63.83.133.133:57234
 [22:58:12] Launcher challenge from: 68.84.110.110:12999

If there are no such logs after a short while (give it up to 30 - 60 seconds) then your server most likely isn't visible to players outside your network.

My own server appears for me as not responding on the server list

This can happen if you are behind a NAT (a router) and even if others have access to your server. Many routers will not route packets back to the internal network if packets originate from that network and specify the router's public IP address as the destination. To mitigate this problem you must add your own server as a custom server in your server browser. Use your private, LAN IP or even localhost IP (127.0.0.1).